What Thunder Can Bring - by Alana Deschamps

I sat staring out the window at the pale, blue, cloudless sky. My body felt completely numb. I wondered why it had to be me. Why it had to be my life that was falling apart. Just as everything was starting to get better.

I heard the faint sound of someone calling my name from the bottom of the stairs.

"Bri! Bri! " I slowly walked to the door. Knowing it was time to leave the place I'd known my whole life. My comfort zone. The place I had cried in when I broke my toe. The place I got tucked into bed by my dear parents. My parents... if only they hadn't gone away. If only I hadn't suggested that stupid date, none of this would have happened. But it did, and there's no changing the past.

Miss Vergus was still at the bottom of the staircase, impatiently about to bellow my name for the last time until she saw me.

"Now Bri, don't look so grim. The group home isn't that bad."

I swallowed hard, forcing back the tears that threatened to come.

"Is this all of your stuff?" She asked, almost sounding like a police officer interrogating a suspect.

"Yes" I whispered, feeling like it was all a bad dream that I would soon wake up out of, but it wasn't. The accident happened, my parents are dead and I'm about to be stuck in a stupid group home. My head hung down so low that I had to strain my neck to look at her. She was a tall woman with shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes.

"Let's get moving then if you're packed and ready."

"I'll never be ready" I mumbled to myself.

"Pardon?" Miss. Vergus asked with a questioning glance.

"Oh, nothing," I replied. She would never understand how I felt. No one does, they all say they do, but they don't. They didn't lose the two most important people in their lives. They aren't thirteen and parentless. They are just talking out of pity because they don't know what else to say, and that just makes me feel worse.

When we finally finished packing up her small, silver car we got in and started to drive away. I wanted to scream "STOP!" and run into my parents arms for safety. I felt as if I was abandoning everything I ever knew. The place I had grown up in. Tears streamed down my face as the two storey, brick house began to get smaller and smaller. I desperately stared out the window, wanting to open the door, jump out and run back. I wanted to lock all the doors and hide under my covers. But I couldn't. I was trapped in a car, with a woman I didn't know, who was taking me to a strange place where there were kids who were like me. Kids whose parents died. Whose parents abandoned them, and I was one of those kids. No matter how much I didn't want to go, no matter how much I argued or fought back, I'd be stuck living there.

Miss Vergus began talking to me. I ignored her and looked out the window. I didn't want to talk. I didn't even want to be there.

The car finally pulled to a stop,

"We're here," Miss Vergus said in a cheerful voice.

"I'll help you with your things and then we'll get everything else sorted out. I already called so they know that you're coming."

We walked up the cement steps to a large, old, brick house. Miss Vergus rang the doorbell and a young cheerful looking woman answered the door. She had curly blonde hair and green eyes. She only looked to be around the age of 23.

"Hi there, you must be Brianna?" The woman said with kind eyes.

"Yes, and I am Miss Vergus, we spoke on the phone."

"Of course. You can call me Lena. I guess I'll show you both around and you can get settled into your room, Brianna."

"OK," I said so quietly Lena almost had to lean forward to hear me. She was so cheerful, it seemed odd to me. I didn't think someone dealing with all these orphans could be so happy. As we stepped inside, I had to wait a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dimness. To one side there was a couch facing a television and on the other side a loveseat and matching chairs surrounded a large coffee table with flowers. The room I guessed was the living room was a light shade of blue and the carpets were a silvery grey.

Everywhere you looked there were teenagers talking and hanging out together. I felt like an outsider. They wore ripped jeans and old shirts. I stared down at my designer sandals and capris, and my brand name t-shirt. I didn't belong. Someone noticed me and whispered to the person beside them, and then they looked at me and whispered to the person next to them and so on. Eventually everyone in the room was staring at me and whispering. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to run to my parents so they could take me from this place, but I couldn't. Where would I run to? I'm an orphan. Lena introduced me.

Some waved, some grunted, and some just gave me a skeptical look. Well, this is going to be my new home, say hi to your family, I thought, pretty happy family...

As Lena led me from room to room she spoke about the people in them, and said just about every time "you'll like them." Eventually we came to my room and I was told to unpack. As I pulled each thing out I studied it carefully and almost cried as a wave of sadness swept over me. Memories came pouring back. Something shiny in my suitcase caught my eye. I lifted out a picture of my parents on their wedding day about to cut their cake. They both looked so happy. My mom was laughing. She looked so beautiful. Her dress was as white as snow, and shimmered in the different lights. It had no sleeves, and the top had flowers on it made from seams of matching white. My mom's beautiful, long brown hair was in a tousled bun at the back of her head. My dad was holding out the cake knife, about to cut the cake next to my mom. He looked so handsome in his black suit. He had a pink rose in his pocket next to his heart, a black tie and a white under shirt. A lump came up in my throat as I studied the picture and I couldn't hold it down. As the tears burst out of me, I hugged the picture and cried for about a half an hour when I heard a knock on the door.

"It's Lena, are you all right?" "Yeah, I'm fine, just one

second." I replied, scrambling around trying to find some tissue or a face cloth. I dried off my face and opened the door.

"It's dinner time, are you finished unpacking yet, or do you want me to save your dinner until your finished or- "

"That's fine I'm pretty much done anyway, I'll come down now." I replied. I didn't want to spend much more time in there anyways. It's too depressing, and I am hungry. So I followed her down the stairs and sat down at the biggest table I've ever seen. The kitchen was a large room with a big refrigerator that was covered in all kinds of magnets. There was an oven on the other side of the room surrounded by blue cupboards. Next to the oven and cupboards there was a sink. The walls were a warm peach. And above the sink there was a window with lace curtains.

All the girls were sitting around the table talking and laughing loudly. I sat quietly eating my food, not knowing whether I should join in the conversation, or just eat, so I chose to eat. I didn't really know anyone anyways. Gosh I hate it here, I thought. It's so different. How can you be so happy when such horrible things have happened to you? I wanted to run, but where could I go?

Soon dinner was over and I hurried back to my room. It felt good to be alone after all that noise. I had nothing to do but finish unpacking. I decided I can't have positive thoughts over this. It's impossible, this place is terrible. Everyone looks at me weird. Maybe I can sneak out when Lena calls for lights out. I'll get into bed in my clothes and when everyone is asleep I'll sneak out the window...no it won't work. What if the other girls don't go to sleep early?

"Brianna, Brianna! Are you awake?" I could hear Lena's muffled words from behind the door.

"Hmmm," I grumbled "Yeah, I'm awake."

I could just see the early morning sun coming out from behind the curtains, lighting up my entire room.

"There's something I'd like to talk to you about" Lena said," Can I come in?"

"Yeah sure" I replied, sitting up in bed.

Lena walked in and sat on my bed.

"I have an opportunity to send a few of you girls to a nearby horse farm. I was wondering if you would be interested. You would learn about horses, how to ride, and how a stable is run." she explained.

"Sure" I said, muttering "nothing else to do around here," under my breath.

"Well I guess it's set then, we'll head over tomorrow afternoon and get everyone acquainted and shown around." Lena had an excited twinkle in her eyes.

"I'll let you get dressed now. Breakfast is in about fifteen minutes," Lena said as she got up.

"I'll see you then" I replied.

I quickly got dressed, and when I finished I ran down the stairs and sat at the table. The rest of the girls came bustling in and sat down.

I looked at them yawning and reaching for their cereal bowls. They all did it so normally, like they would at their home. I could never be like that. This place would never be 'home' for me. I still can't figure out why they're so happy, there's nothing here to be happy about. I reached forward to get my own bowl and cereal. It all felt unnatural to me. This never should have happened. What did I ever do to deserve this?

I finished my breakfast with a tight knot in my stomach over all the un-answered questions. I rushed up to my room after clearing my place at the table. I tried to ignore the questions in my head. Feeling bad for myself all day certainly wouldn't get me anywhere.

Suddenly I remembered my Mom saying that to me one day. It was the day I got into a fight at school. I only got in trouble once after that. I didn't want my parents to be disappointed in me. Seeing as I was an only child, I wanted to be the child that they were proud of. Not something they considered as a mistake. As these thoughts came into my mind, it finally hit me that I will never see them again. I could never run into my Moms warm arms after scraping my knee, or making a mistake. I will never see her smile at me or hear her laugh after I made a funny poem or told a joke. I will never get picked up by my Dad, no more piggy backs or soccer in the back yard. No more sitting on his lap or laughing with him over a funny T.V show. I fell onto my bed, wrapped my arms over my head and sobbed. It seemed like ages when I heard a faint knocking at the door.

"Brianna? Umm, it's Jayla. Can I come in?" I remembered the teen from yesterday. She acted like she was nice.

"Yeah, I guess so." I said.

She slowly opened the door and sat down on my bed.

"Hi, I uh... I heard you crying and I was wondering if

maybe you'd like to talk. I know I did." Jayla seemed like she genuinely cared. I felt like I could talk to her. I might as well. It might help.

"I guess," I said, grabbing more tissue.

"It was my parents' anniversary, and I suggested they do something special, you know, like a date. So they said that it was a great idea and made reservations." I thought back to that day as I spoke. Jayla's look of concern helped me to go on.

"So they made reservations at a fancy restaurant for 6 o'clock. My Mom didn't know what to wear, so I helped her pick an outfit. It was a beautiful turquoise dress. It matched her eyes. I let her borrow a pair of my earrings. I'd never seen her so beautiful. She was glowing." My voice faded off, and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to speak, but I swallowed hard and started again.

"My dad looked so handsome. He was wearing a navy blue suit and a matching tie. They looked like teenagers

going to a prom. Then a few hours later, I got the call..." I burst into tears and in between tears I finished,"They were on their way home...they were about to drive through a green light when...when a car came tearing down the road and smashed into their car head on...it...it was a drunk driver. He lived through a few broken bones but... but my parents... oh my gosh, my parents..." I broke off sobbing and I soon realized I wasn't the only one. Jayla was crying too, and she reached over and hugged me.

"My parents' story is close... but instead, they went to a party. My dad was drunk... and was speeding. He lost control and the car rolled... the firefighters used the Jaws of Life... but it was too late...my parents were dead."

We must have spent hours crying together when Lena came to tell us it was lights out, and she brought Jayla to her room. I cried some more until I fell into a deep sleep...