Youth Noise and News: A lesson in bullying at Nantyr Shores
by Kaitlyn Blair

"You can't take it back." Cyber messages, like words spoken aloud, once published, take on a life of their own. In recent years we have become a society intent on instant gratification with the arrival of technology that allows us the luxury of not having to wait - for anything.

No longer do we have to wait to see and talk to our friends and family whether near or far. No longer do we have to wait to obtain valuable information or news from across the globe. Today we have everything we need in real-time and we are blessed. Or are we?

Special Constable William Gordon, IT Specialist with the OPP, was at Nantyr Shores Secondary School recently to explain the risks faced by young people as they negotiate the exciting and sometimes disturbing world of cyber space. He describes the world wide web as a valuable fountain of information at our fingertips, but warns that used improperly, it can become a killer. Alarmingly, he says, 30% of grade 7 students say that they have been bullied within the school year, and 27% say that they have been bullied online.

Constable Gordon's presentation to grade 9 and 10 students at Nantyr included a variety of disturbing videos created by young people just like us whose lives have forever been changed by cyberbullying which he defines as sending or posting harmful, degrading or humiliating text on a digital device such as the internet, e-mail, blogs, phones, cameras, instant messaging or chat rooms. He noted that bullies online often impersonate someone to spread lies, or trick people into revealing personal information, send or forward text messages, or even post pictures (real or altered) of victims without their consent.

Bullies are often people who have been bullied themselves. They don't care if they hurt other people. They need to be in control and always get their way. Generally, they believe that they deserve to get their way. A bully is someone who intentionally and repeatedly hurts or intimidates others. They bully to gain power, get attention or popularity, obtain material things or to copy someone they admire. Sadly, this behaviour often leads to pain, frustration and even fear for victims whose lives are bared or violated on a world-wide stage.

It is an understatement to say that bullying of any kind can hurt. It is important for everyone to realize that cyber bullying can do unparalleled harm. It takes the playground bully and expands his power to include the entire planet in seconds. Maya Angelou said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Think about it. Twenty years from now, a bully's victim may not even remember his name, but that person will never forget the pain they felt.

Cyber bullies are a special breed. Because the internet offers us a sense of anonymity, they feel brave and invincible. Many people believe that the things they post in chat rooms or during instant messaging conversations can be kept private and that information only goes where it is sent. This, stated Constable Gordon, is not the case. His message to cowardly bullies is that all content on the internet is caught and archived within thirty seconds of publication and the person posting the information has no control where it goes beyond where he intends. This means, that anyone can be traced as the sender of information and the penalty for anyone caught using the internet inappropriately whether to spread pornographic material, lies or hurtful truths can be extremely stiff - anywhere from two years to life according to the criminal code.

What? You don't think sharing practical jokes or posting an opinion poll or altered picture about someone at school is criminal? Wrong! If you say something publicly (or post it online) that is untrue about someone, it is a criminal offence. If you say something publicly (or post it online) that is true about someone that can hurt their credibility or destroys their quality of life, it is also a criminal offence. In fact, cyber bullying can be charged under a large number of criminal statutes at the discretion of the police department.

The presentation at Nantyr Shores this week was described by Principal Hargreaves as an effort to "empower students with the tools to act with respect." Further, she explains, that students need to know how to overcome this everexpanding problem, and Constable Gordon presented a variety of ways to make sure that you and your friends are no longer at risk in the hands of bullies.

1. Never, ever give out your password for any online memberships like email, chat rooms, etc.

2. Don't share personal information about yourself or family and friends with anyone you don't know.

3. If you receive inappropriate or bullying emails or other media, don't pass it on. Print it and report it. Do not erase or delete messages from cyber bullies - You don't have to read it, but keep it. It is your evidence. The police and your Internet Service provider or telephone company can use these messages to help you or you may notice certain words or phrases that are used by people you know.

4. Don't respond to bullying messages. Don't repeat gossip whether received online or any other way, even from your best friend.

5. Don't participate. If you know someone who is being bullied, help them to talk to someone who can help. If you are being bullied, tell a caring adult.

6. Don't ignore bullying. Ignoring the problem won't make it go away. Talk to a parent, another adult or your student support team. They can help.

Nantyr Shores has developed and implemented a Student Support Team program that gives students a safe, supportive and confidential environment where they can get help from a select group of their peers. "Students who are members of this antiharassment team are provided with thorough mediation training and support from staff with a view to removing the poison of bullying from their learning environment," says staff advisor, Jeff Shadlock.

Now is the time to take a stand against this sometimes deadly pastime. Don't make the mistake of believing that if you ignore it you can make it go away. The problem is real and it affects all of us.

If you, or someone you know needs help with bullying, here are a few places where you can find the support you need:

Talk to a caring adult - parent, friend or teacher;

Student Support Team - Nantyr Shores Secondary School;

Kids' Help Phone - 1- 800-268-6868 or online at www.kidshelpphone.ca

South Simcoe Police Service - (705) 436-2141

Crimestoppers - 1-800- 222-8477 (TIPS)

Ontario Provincial Police - 1-888-310-1122

Principal Hargreaves brought with her to Nantyr, a quotation that she has repeated to her student body time and again. It reminds everyone of the very best way to ensure respect for self and for others.

"Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.

Watch your words, for they become your actions.

Watch your actions, for they become your habits.

Watch your habits, for they become your character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny." ~ Author Unknown

Let bullies win? I don't think so! No one is suggesting that you shouldn't use the internet for communication and information. But let's make sure that we aren't hurting ourselves or anyone else while we do.