New Triple P plan for problem teenagers

Christine is 14 years old and on the brink of adulthood, but her parents wonder what kind of adult she'll become if the rudeness and disrespect she shows them continues.

When they ask a simple question, they get an abrupt response. If they make a comment or observation, they get a scornful reply. What happened to their sweet little girl? How are they going to get through this difficult time?

"As teenagers struggle to become their own person they may come into conflict with their parents' beliefs, and that's perfectly normal," says Tina Hannan a public health nurse with the Simcoe Muskoka District Health Unit's family health service. "Talking to teenagers can be difficult because they often become moody and easily upset if they feel their views are being questioned, but with some encouragement and patience, positive communication with your teenager is possible."

Hannan, along with members of a number of community agencies, is trained in the Positive Parenting Program (Triple P), a program that suggests simple routines and small changes can make a big difference to families.

And learning how to deal with rudeness and disrespect is one of the parenting issues that Triple P can help families with.

When children and youth are younger they generally accept that their parents know more than they do. That can change as they enter puberty, and they start to decide who they are and what they believe in, says Hannan. Those different views, ideas and lifestyles they are discovering can lead to problems including rudeness and disrespect with their parents, sometimes for a long period of time.

"Try to avoid looking at your teen's ideas and questions as a challenge to your authority. You are the most important person in your teen's life. They need to be able to talk with you even when 'how' they are speaking is sharp or tense. 'What' they are trying to say is important," says Gail Hamelin of Kinark, which also has staff trained in Triple P. "Praise the behaviour you like, stay calm, set a good example, be clear about your expectations and follow up on consequences if rude behaviour continues."

Whether the issue is rudeness and disrespect, swearing, bedtime problems, tantrums or homework, Triple P helps parents improve child behaviour problems as well as develop positive attitudes, skills and behaviour that encourage children and youth to realize their full potential.

Triple P offers support, practical suggestions and a plan of action for parents, in the way that they need it, whether that's by talking to a trained person over the phone, in individual or group sessions, or more intense therapy. Because there is a broad involvement of a number of community agencies trained in Triple P, including the health unit and Kinark, most children's services agencies can help parents get the service they need.

Triple P is widely in use throughout Australia where it was developed, and has been increasingly adopted throughout the world, including Canada.

For more information on parenting solutions for your children, call Your Health Connection 8:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays and ask about Triple P solutions on "Rudeness and Disrespect" or other parenting issues, or check www.sim- coemuskokahealth.org.